Due to family difficulties my mother decided to quarter me in the local parsonage building. Here it began with the dark sides of the there minister. Of an ex priest.

(kreuz.net/`dad CAN Magazin') all, which lived in the proximity of the minister, trembled with it. They are afraid its intemperance, its Rasereien, its Ausfälligkeiten. From the distance it might have radiated, with light besehen was it a despot.

I referred a room in a cultivated house. I came from the poverty and oppressive conditions of a worker's house stop and was again in an ambience from beautiful furniture, newest books, erlesenen wines.

I learned to eat with the napkin to lead Konversation and after the lady housekeeper to signs. It was as in the dream. I did not know, how happened me. The despot was extremely nicely to me and I knew not, with which I had earned it.

It fits me out again from head to foot, over-accumulated me with gifts, let me at its considerations sharings, invited me in the evening to speak the hourly prayer with it.

I went upright and as with wings. I felt edifying, how surround by an aura of the generosity. Whether I cannot introduce myself, to become priests? Priest? You my quality - I had flown straight of the school.

My ego fit into a vest pocket. How largely the man thought from me! For one moment meant I, finally the loved, accepted, to be respected son who could not be I with my physical, violent father. I did not know that it should be the last happy moment of my youth.

The only one, which caused a rather unconscious uneasiness for me, were the physical approaches of the priest. Why did it have with each suitable and mismatching opportunity the arm around me to put?

Why did one have to say good-bye in the evening with an embrace? It was however not unpleasantly, more. It would have been also unpleasant me, if my own father had taken me into the arm.

One summer evening, not for a long time after my introduction, the occurrence occurred, after which in my life nothing more was like before.

The minister and I had physically worked. Perhaps we had dragged any crates upward under the roof. Anyhow we sat both tired and sweating next to each other on the bed of my room, which likewise was under the attic.

I know still that we held both Bierflaschen in hands, such with Bügelverschluß. We drank, laughed, until the tendency suddenly over-tilted - in something, which made fear for me: a kind of Schmusigkeit and physical proximity searches.

The bed was clearly the wrong place for resting.

The neck hair set up itself to me. What made the man with its hand, which slid upward over my thighs? I pressed the legs together, clasped me to my Bierflasche, tried, to move away from it.

I smell today still its beer breath, feel the massive body, feel, how he kept me packed, while he drove with the tongue greedily the neck abschleckte to me and with its Pranke into the step, my member searching. All I know still.

Which I no more do not know: As I freed myself from it, as he came from the room.

That I remember again: Like I the bolt behind him into the door pushed and stood there - trembling. Of it I remind still very well that I did not do anything during a completely long period, as me the Konvulsionen of my body to leave itself.

Years later asked it me: „Why you are to your parents gone, not to any adult, not to the police? “I said to them, what I say also today: „I did not know, what that was. I did not have a name for it. “

Whether it is meaningful that today already kindergarten children know, what a Päderast is, may be undecided. I did not know it as Halbwüchsiger. And if I had known it, then it outside of my conception horizon would have been that a priest makes/does/is such a thing.

Fact is: I was not capable over almost ten years of looking at my own history or of finding also only words for it. I did not want to admit it. I split off it of me. I became two humans.

From the hour on, in which humans by force penetrated into my Intimität, I was in a prison, to which I did not know the key. Over years and years I was as on the way in a locked Kassiber. To me nobody approached.

The encroachment was like a fire character in my soul, which should connect me up to the recent day with my Mißbraucher. Which it had made with me, stigma of the isolation became for me.

My me far secret catapulted me outside from the community of humans. I was enclosed in a housing from last isolation and nameless fear. I do not know, why I did not have Kraft to flee.

I do not know, why I remained like an imprisoned animal in this house, why I gratitude heuchelte, played the son, the pupil predestined to priesthood and trusted from Mr. Pfarrer, who one met with reverence and respect…

I would like to tell the remainder in all shortness: I became actually a priest.

The contribution originally appeared in `dad CAN Magazine'.

Next time: In the reason I wanted only Sex, Sex, Sex

© frontispiece: Dave Ceasar Dela Cruz, CC

RRR: @ night lantern

there is nothing more terrible… than abuses at an innocent, on trusts dependent child

Oh nevertheless, how we know from kreuz.net!

More badly than of you the specified e.g. are:
- Hand coming union (even according to kind of the Hl. Cyrillus of Jerusalem - widerwärtiges Häretikerschwein!)
- Ministrantinnen
- Bishop Algermissen
- Bishop Marini (Marini of the Untermensch, not Marini the holy one)
- Bishop Tebartz van Elst (the dirt bag uses even formulas, which come from Paulus - pfui devil!)
- Jesuiten (all - it is, it to it Ordensgelübde broke and a new club based)

On the other hand such a Kinderficker is nevertheless a holy!

Night lantern: a cheap novel?

has years ago times - in the course of the child protection the so-called „gays book shops “sifts. which there at schwülstigen novels and would picture-bind for boy lovers to light came was much frightening and characteristically.

priests are to marry and it give no more encroachments? of because of! gays will not marry and the encroachments on server v will find through homos instead of.

raindance1: what now?

the minister was well-known for its intemperance, its Rasereien and his Ausfällgkeiten. Nevertheless the author referred a room in this „cultivated “parsonage building… beautiful contradiction… it also still physically had then worked, which white naturally none sweated more… however it, why… and to better last also always wedged itself then one to a Bierflasche… a cheap Schwuchtelroman with PICTURE fell through… however here has he public…

Night lantern: there is nothing more terrible…

… as abuse at an innocent, on trust dependent child.

if it means from the concentration camps that the survivors would not be priesterschaft a kind to the anybody near-rich, must these words vehemently advanced toward werrden. there is the grey also today! and: there is to raise no reason the grey even in olymp.

the gay priest committed a frchtbare sin against a people child and against the holy spirit. this to commit a crime must be punished on the härsteste.

one looks today in intternet itself the side www.orwid.de one in Germany landed in such a way on and nobody resists in the middle it them, on the contrary, the state takes the money steers and by password may the adult naked children in unlimited height consume. one in her childhood heavily abused woman told me that its father had consumed exactly these products with his neighbour.

Wolfgang e.: rather matt, is not bad me,

but your comments are sometimes inexpressibly stupid…

sexychrist: @ Marcelus

perhaps…

ne, rather nevertheless not!